I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
