Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
