how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
