i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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