Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize
