My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
