how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
