going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Randomize