drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
