i just sent this text using only my big toe
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
