He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
