are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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