Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
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