Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
