I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Randomize
