I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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