Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
