I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
