We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
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