Do you still have your period?
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
