Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
