Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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