we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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