I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
