just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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