u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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