He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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