For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
