"it" just moved
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I have grass duct taped all over my body
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
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