Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
