You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
The air taste purple.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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