the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Randomize
