We got so high we made milksteak
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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