So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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