the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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