Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
