your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
