maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
