TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
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