I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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