Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
