her vagine was all disorganized.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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