She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
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