My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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