I must be too annoying 4 u.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Randomize
