It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
birth control should be required to get into college
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
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