apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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