no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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