okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
i dont even know how to be here
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize