She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
i would one night stand the shit outta him
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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