my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
