time to smoke my breakfast
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Randomize
