so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
