You work out of a Hotel?
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Randomize