I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
there was a trapeze. enough said
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Randomize
