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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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