a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
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