yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
