I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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