I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
