just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
