ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize